Some of y'all may read this n still b on sum "NI66AS ain't ish" type stuff...n thas ur perogative.  but then don't b mad when no man wanna deal wit UR ish...i'm bein' kind, Queen Afua said it's the BITCH in us that we needa clear out....
This post is dedicated to the siSTARs...to the brilliant and resilient woman, I say HONORS, LOV, LIGHT, n 'NUFF RESPECT.. Recently, I've noticed my FB news feed filled with posts about what the black woman needs to do to 'please her man' or why brothas don't want black women, or how black women have attitudes n r angry n don't cook n don't clean n jus want a nI66a 4 his money n so on and so forth..
now, the average sista will look at this in disgust, saying 1) we hav just cause to be bitter and angry since black men r sum ish OR  2) i don't need no man, i'm independent n lovin' it...sistas, i'm gonna b the one to tell u the truth::we gotta work on lettin' go of our pains::

for one, I do inner and ova stand that the problem is not "sistas" or "brothas" as a whole group, but rather a mentality to permeates the minds of aboriginal people.  Thus, the problem is not so much that ALL men or women do a slew of things, but that we r conditioned to think the worst when in a relationship..for example:

u ever notice how reality TV rarely shows a healthy Moorish/Aboriginal family?  The only ones I can remember were Rev Run's show and TI's show, both which r so scripted it makes my head hurt...everything else shows men as being triflin' dogs and women as being triflin' golddiggers...ughh

however, this post is for the sistas, so this is my message to u:

'REALLY TAKE A LOOK AT URSELF...R U ANY OF THOSE NEGATIVE THINGS THE BROTHAS SAY U R??'
-  sometimes, when I hear rants from men about how triflin' women r, I hav to let it fly cus I kno it doesn't apply.  However, if I get in my feelings, it's usually cus what is being said hits home.  It's jus hard to hear it from the opposite sex.  So thankfully, u hav ME to tell u that we DO hav attitudes, sum of us don't organize/maintain our homes and THEN hav the nerve to want a man to pay for EVERYTHING...dayum, my inner male is gettin' mad jus thinking about it.

...ok, so i'm honest with my self...now wut??

' LET GO OF THE PAST PAIN n the ANGER that u carry as a CHIP on ur SHOULDER'
**there r plenty of ways to go about this, but they all require effort, work, and consistency.  I have found working out is number one for me, followed by deep breathing, spiritual baths, time spent alone in nature, and journaling**

Sistas, our men r out here fighting the same battle as us, jus in a different part of the field.  What good does it do to do the work of the enemy?  Then we r only fighting against ourselves and our families.  I say we start holding each other accountable (AND MEN DO THE SAME- I don't talk about what men need to do cus I'm not a man). Don't encourage ur sister to talk shit about a man when u know she in the wrong.  Tell her 'bout her self- do it in a way that will pull her up, not to stroke ur OWN ego...

problem is, sistas, we hav a hard time being around each other cus of insecurities and jealousy.  But the best way to deal with that is to remember two things:

1) u neva know wut the other person dealing wit: n this is important cus their struggle is to make them stronger, as is urs...so focus on urSelf so u can master n slay ur own demons.

2) most importantly, u r BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, LOV, LIGHT, NURTURING, STRENGTH, FLEXIBLE, PSYCHIC, and ABLE TO DO ANYTHING u put ur mind to...and that is y we r so jealous cus we see it in others without recognizing it in ourSelves.  It's tru....so tru that I'm typing it again...

SISTARS...U R BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, LOV, LIGHT, NURTURING, STRENGTH, FLEXIBLE, PYSCHIC, and ABLE TO DO ANYTHING  u put ur mind to...if u hav to , tell urself this EVERY DAY when u wake up...look ur self SQUARELY in the eye and say it...with conviction.. n MEAN IT..cus it's tru.

The brothas need our minds to be clear and at ease so they can implant brilliant ideas and we can manifest them.  

We gotta do this for our brothas, babies, and families- this is how u build nations, thru the family structure. 

Some of y'all may read this n still b on sum "NI66AS ain't ish" type stuff...n thas ur perogative.  but then don't b mad when no man wanna deal wit UR ish...i'm bein' kind, Queen Afua said it's the BITCH in us that we needa clear out....

thas my peace. i lov u all n most importantly, i lov health families and babies.  

lov, light, and Islamism
   B.Selah
 


Comments

Jasmine
02/12/2013 5:58pm

I remember you talking about this a few weeks ago. I like how you write in your regular voice, that's important! I'll share this on my blog/Twitter. Hoping to get some responses.

Reply
Nappy Queen
02/12/2013 5:58pm

You really hit some great points. One of the issues I see is that we get so caught up in things that don't apply to us that we stop ourselves from receiving our blessings. we miss what is right in front of us.

I think the brothers need to get their own hot mess in order and we need to get our hot messes in order. I wonder if this is something we can do collectively as sisters...I get so frustrated with some of the b.s. my female friends accept from men than I may just completely withdraw from their drama...

Only thing I disagree with is that we gotta do this for the brothers... I think we have to do it for our creator who deserves to see us live up to our potential.

Reply
J DOT
02/12/2013 5:59pm

THAS RITE!!

SISTERS WONT BE SISTARS UNTIL THEY RESPECT THAT THEY ARENT PERFECT.

Reply
02/13/2013 10:04pm

I believe you attract what you are willing to put up with. Brothas can't be mad that they keep dealing with sistas who are angry. it is likely that they are angry or they like the "attitude" until it is turned on them. I'm not a black woman with an attitude at all, however I also won't date anyone that brings out that kind of energy either, because I don't desire to display it.

It is important that we take inventory and decide to choose healthy relationships based on the experience that we want to have in life. Here is a blog I wrote about just that: https://ressurrection.wordpress.com/2011/01/03/how-to-ask-for-what-you-really-want/

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