I know that marriage is not easy, but does ANYONE stay married anymore? #justcurious I'm getting a little discouraged!
... It just boggles my mind of why couples divorce so quickly! I have family members who have been married for almost 41 years. People say don't be discouraged, and I'm keeping hope alive! There are some folks whose great-grandparents have been married for 50+ years. Then there's famous couples like Michelle & Barack, Samuel L. Jackson and his wife.
So what are these new couples doing wrong? Is it the lack of "not doing your homework" on the other person? What about doing homework on themselves? Some say that there are couples who just do each other dirty, but decide to stay together to avoid paying child support, alimony, embarrassment, etc. Should those couples be counted in this discussion? There are couples who have been together for over a decade, but have only been married less than a year--maybe that's the way to do it. I love hearing about and seeing couples make it...I just wish it happened more often.
Some people give up to quickly/easily. Our generation is supposed to make a change, yet our mentality does not keep us in the mindset of staying together. So many people are quick to get married but do they know what it takes to stay married?!? I've never been married, but I know it takes a lot of hard work!
People don't really DATE anymore. They just "chill" "kick it" etc. Women lower their (our) standards because we're so worried about getting married. It's the same from Louisville to DC. Women's standards aren't the same anymore.
My cousin is married to a man who publicly and proudly asserts that "I will be married until death do us part. I love her so much that I'll never let her go." I jokingly say he has no choice because he's married to my cousin, I know it's because he really loves her.
I have a friend who has been married a little over a year and has known her husband for almost 4 years, she’s dealt with infidelity from when they dated leading into their marriage. Part of their reasoning for getting married is because she got pregnant and wanted to do things the right way. She loves him and he loves her but separation and divorce have definitely come up in conversations due to trust or lack thereof along with the belief of “maybe this person is not the one for me, child or no child”…she told me today:
"I mean I know you have to put in work, and compromise and ALL THAT STUFF but what are the compromises? Are the compromises that the husband is a really good provider, takes care of the kids, never puts his hands on you BUT he likes to have affairs with other women from time to time, but overall he is a 'good' man."
Think about that, ladies. She went on to say:
"Does he then fall into the 80/20 rule? I mean it’s not like he flaunts the other women in your face and as his wife you still are number one and if anything goes down, you KNOW he has your back. So is that the storm we can weather? In my opinion it seems like the other generation stayed together and accepted a lot more because they most of the times had to rely on the man as the provider whereas today you have women that are more independent than they have EVER been and they are shooting the deuces a lot quicker. They are saying nope I’m done, this is not how i choose to live the REST of my life…I want to know the answers because that is how I look at my situation. Even though I don’t like it, my husband IS the 80% in the 80/20 rule!"
What do you think? This is something we have probably all considered.
DOES ANYONE STAY MARRIED ANYMORE???
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