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One of those approachees even got a proposal out of the deal. She would beg to differ but I remember it like it was yesterday:
I was like “i can take you to the stars baby. But you gotta believe in me baby. I wanna be your uncle, your aunt, your mommy, your pappy, your doggy, but you gotta believe in me baby.”
Western single life has a definite ying and yang.
For example, I remember having a good time being out with five of my guys, all of us classic good looks, with Zara Blazers, and pocket squares that just screamed EXCELLENT FICA scores. And I remember five women across from us at the bar in beautiful dresses, wrapped around beautiful bodies, AND HOW MUCH THEY IGNORED THE F@#& out of us!!!!!
This is a normal club experience in the DMV. And I hated it. I hated it as I stood in line the following week to do it all over again.
Both sides must pretend that they are totally unphased by the other. Neither can attract people based on personality and conversation because the music is too loud. This reduces us just to visual cues and clubs become a place solely for the super attractive to be adored, gawked, and stared at. Which I can’t say is even that great for them because that brand of visceral attention typically attracts love’s terrorists – folks who will destroy their morals for self gratification. The rest of us are just appetizers. This is also why house parties are proven to breed more relationships than anything else.
Let’s face it nobody likes putting themselves out on a limb. So why do men take all the risk?
The weakest of the male species just spends $300 on a table with bottle service. They do it waiting for women to step in their roped trap of free alcohol. And when they do…
Many times I’ve been smooth and debonaire, funny and confident, and some times I’ve been corny and unprepared.
Before I got the hang of the Stranger game, I was as puzzled as Floyd Mayweather on the Reading Rainbow. Stepping out on the plank of uncertainty to interrupt a table of women strangers with a smile reserved for BlackPeopleMeet.com. Introducing myself like I didn’t just stop the flow of their conversation always seemed arrogantly inconsiderate to me. I mean they could be curing cancer and then I rolled up there like “Hi. My bed is soft.”
Of course I didn’t say that. But it often felt like I was the house magician and my job was to entertain. Pulling rabbits out of hats, Card tricks, family friendly humor, anything anything to get the women laughing and distracted from qualities I did not possess.
This was initially very hard for me because I’m morally against shucking and jiving for anybody. But being all thugnificent got me nowhere. So I just sucked it up and did what my homie referred to as street rips (c|The Wire, Season 1) – getting on these streets, approaching as many women as you can, bagging as many numbers as you can, and reducing approaching women (something the boy in me saw as almost magical) to a numbers game.
Approaching a woman can range in results. On one end your risks can be rewarded with a pretty smile but on the other end you can violently have your face schmushed amidst strangers and people you love.
So when these powerful women came along, stepped to me, and made me feel like Mario powering up on mushrooms it attracted me more. It transformed 5′s to 7′s, 6′s to 8s, and 7′s and above lit my fireworks and kicked off a Macy’s day parade in my brain’s happy center.
Yes. Naked unabashed and physically expressed interests makes me swoon. I don’t care who she is or what she looks like. Maybe I’m a narcissist or nah. But I know I’ve always admired people that know how to do as Andres 3000 said on the Love Below and that’s take off your cool. Being vulnerable yet strong at the same time is powerfully sexy.
It releases all the anxiety built up that night about not meeting enough people.
In addition, I always thought that approaching people can be empowering. You become the chooser. You set the tone. The pace. The nature of the dialogue. The rules that govern.
Yes it can be scary too. But the future belongs to the brave. So women what keeps you from grabbing hold of the future and stepping to these men? Have you ever approached a man? Are you scared or nah? Did it make you feel powerful, in control, or insecure? Did it yield good results. And men please express your experience with women unafraid to make the first contact.